I want to share a more personal post with you guys today. I’m at that stage in my life where I really feel comfortable with who I am and I want to acknowledge that and set some intentions for the future.
I know what I like, what I want, what I will accept, what’s right and wrong for me, who I am, who I want to be. And it is such a comfortable feeling. I think it’s a feeling that only comes with age. You can’t fast track it, and maybe you can feel like you know yourself at a younger age, but until you get there you don’t actually appreciate the feeling and texture of it. It’s a beautiful and liberating feeling.
I think any experience you have in your life contributes to where you are today. I’ve used it before, but one of my favourite quotes is ‘believe the dots will connect in your future’. Even when you feel off kilter, and life seems to be a sh*t storm, undoubtedly you will look back and realise what you got out of it, and where it got you.
Those missed opportunities which lead to something greater. Those failed exams which pushed you onto another path. Those lost loves who taught you and shaped you. Those arguments and heated conversations which showed you your compassion. That event you look back at with regret, shaped your future behaviour and kindness. That injustice you felt will lead to more understanding and acceptance of others. And ultimately all of these things got you where you are today.
I like the solution focused way of living. It’s natural to me. I try and find the positives in anything and I think it contributes to feeling happier and more fulfilled in my life.
So I feel in a pretty good space to say I know behaviours and patterns that I’m keen to avoid and that don’t result in the best outcomes for me, or have wounded me and resulted in bad decisions, thoughts and feelings in the past. I can objectively look back and see the repetitions I want to move away from and grow against.
This is a list of 20 things I’m confident I won’t do again, simply because I don’t want to be that person anymore and I like where I am too much.
One: I won’t eat meat, fish, dairy or eggs again. I’m done with all of that. I’m guessing that’s obvious.
Two: I won’t knowingly buy leather, silk, fur, or any product made from or with animal by-products.
Three: I won’t buy make up, cosmetics and household products from companies that test on animals, or use 3rd parties to do so.
Four: I won’t visit zoos, aquariums, races or any other medium that use animals in captivity as a form of entertainment. Ok that’s the last vegan one I swear.
Five: I won’t let friendships drift through laziness and lack of effort on my part. Friends are so so important in life and I cherish my friendships. I have been particularly reminded of this recently, and I’m determined to be the best friend I can to those around me.
Six: I won’t kill spiders I find in my home.
Seven: I won’t settle in relationships. Love needs to be extraordinary. I think we can all have a tendency to settle and accept, to keep the peace and not raise minor troubles for the worry of upsetting the balance. But don’t settle and accept things as they are because you feel like you should. Challenge, grow, change, it’s ALL beautiful and if it’s the right relationship it will grow right with you.
Eight: I won’t intentionally cause harm to any living thing (including the spiders). I will live as compassionately and kindly as I can. I want my impact on the earth to be positive and mindful and I want my actions to be reflective of my energy.
Nine: I won’t get my belly button pierced again. Or any other body piercings with the exception of my ears. It didn’t end well.
Ten: I won’t be scared to share my emotions through fear of rejection. Emotional expression isn’t always the easiest for me, and I’ve been in relationships, both romantic and friendships, where I’ve found it hard to express myself, but have expected a lot in return. If I feel it, I’m saying it. Emotion is what it all comes down to. Revel in it.
Eleven: I won’t expect any relationship in my life to be perfect without work. If I want to be closer to a family member, friend, partner, then I need to put in that work. I think we can all be guilty of expecting a lot from the other person, but kindness breeds kindness so act how you want to be treated and you might be surprised at the changes you see.
Twelve: I won’t drink a can of diet coke a day. Apparently it’s bad for you. Jokes.
Thirteen: I won’t blame others for accidents. The intention behind the action is the only thing you can judge.
Fourteen: I won’t try and please everyone. There are going to be people I just don’t click with and that’s ok. I’ve beaten myself up about this in the past, but I’ll do me, you do you. If you don’t like me, move along, I’m comfortable with who I am.
Fifteen: I won’t think negative thoughts about my body. We all have hang ups, and I’m sure I’ll probably battle with myself over this throughout my life, but my body is a wonderful thing that does so much for me. I will nourish it, care for it and love it.
Sixteen: I won’t compare myself to others. Who wants to be the same? Everyone is different and that is the most beautiful and intricate element of the human condition. Appreciate everyone for their strengths and passions and feel inspired by that, but from a place of admiration not comparison.
Seventeen: I won’t waste my time worrying about things I cannot control. My life has seen a lot of change over the last 6 months, and almost none of it I could control. Ultimately I can only control my actions and reactions, I can’t control others as much as I might want to. This has been a mantra of mine and something I’m passionate about staying true to.
Eighteen: I won’t worry about my life plan. This is the crazy, beautiful and shocking life we live in. Just live it. But I also won’t sit and wait for things to happen for me. To the best of my ability I will drive the direction of my life and not wait for change. Be the change.
Nineteen: I won’t stop practicing yoga. I’ve found my vibe and I’m obsessed. Find something you’re intensely interested in and practice it over and over.
Twenty: I won’t take the contraceptive pill again. No not to get pregnant, but because I hate how it makes me feel and it no longer suits my lifestyle when I’m so conscious of what I put into my body. It no longer makes sense for me. There are lots of alternatives (which I might talk about on my blog one day), and I think there’s lots of educating women to be done that there are other choices out there!
I hope this list is helpful and gives guidance to any of you looking for it!
I’d love to hear if there’s something you’re not going to do again, or if you have any questions leave me a comment down below.
Ps. Thank you to the beautiful Hannah from www.aworkinstyle.com for her expert photography skills! Definitely go check out her gorgeous blog!